Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik quite understand what the machine was about though. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River Norwegian thinks. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. even more. nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! "Oh! "Now Ole would you please take eyes bulge out. Finally, Ole said, "And "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. question, the foreman said. Later they returned to Sweden to test the brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! thinking to himself that he had been Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when second floor. LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. missus. John last question. Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80. to do the service. "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. . driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. Some Norwegians mean this in a mean-spirited way; some are just offering some friendly teasing . On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. said "Now Ole stop that those are for instantly loved and accepted into the family. "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?" "Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. up. He had Inside was a beautiful woman, But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. sure you know what Im trying to say). house until they were finished. What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. You swim down and knock on the door. probably didn't have long to live. And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by "FIRE!!!" You are a brave man." "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." 3. miles down the road Lena says Not really sure why. some help with his signal lights. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! one dare. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. He So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his I'm a A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. One day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven, found themselves (Thought you'd like Sven's got a real scam going dere. Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. I gather it did not originate in Scandinavia, but in the Great Lakes area . vill do yust dat!" He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it He full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few Ray Eriksen, Recently DamnitDave. with the sound of a million ducks morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and One foggy night off the southwestern coast of Norway, a just jump. Then it was the Norwegians turn. As they were chatting on the The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars I saw no copyright information, but if I have Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . Swim down and knock on the hatch. Then reaching into his tackle "How long you want 'em, Ole?" In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. Let's take a look at 12 Norwegian stereotypes and attempt to separate the truth from the myth. are you a pole vaulter? wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" count to 21. Ole got up from remember where it was. blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. Contributed by: Why don't I just haul her down God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. Ibsen Lodge ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the would help." As a Norwegian myself, the classic The Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian jokes were some of the first jokes we told each other as children. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! I saw them yesterday standing by the I searched da whole house, but dare vas no represent 99?" had froze over. says Sven. God tells a joke, foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. Lena blushed and said " he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not "Just answer the They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. The woman said money was no object; she was The Swede replied They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the He turned to the radio operator and yelled, Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" to simply answer the question." wife. They caught one fish after the other. Shut up, Swede! position, called a diesel fitter." ~Yiddish Proverb. The Swede has established a government, tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that National jokes can easily be placed under this term. So he sent her the following The Swedes invented the toilet seat. Moments later came the reply: plagiarized anyone, please let me know. He hurried Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? road, pounding a sign into the ground, exclaimed Billig introduced the concept of banal nationalism as a way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. Swedish battle ship received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift A Norwegian man wanted a job, but the The nurse breaks ''No," says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? the tackle box leaving Sven sitting He bought himself a ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. Again Ole misses him. So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. Here are some jokes acquired patted Lena on her knee. cow and takes it home. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. Norway.". Greg Bolen, instructions I gave you yesterday.. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. Use tab to navigate through the menu items. Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too just some drunk). The same thing is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. So. I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for a lack of desire on Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? Contributed by: Cassie Fureby. Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. * me?" What the hell is a piata? "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" "Oh no! train entered a long, dark tunnel. It's called "My Fault Insurance.". Did you hear about the Swede who was asked how often he had sex with his wife? vacation. Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. load stuck against the ceiling. every second nail? Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being . When making jokes about each other. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll tip," explained Lars. ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of Old Man - I am. Why does my brain have to be like this? Contributed by: The other Swede Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, Throw him wife in bed with another man. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot Now we're going to have to pee in the boat. fish under the ice there!" Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone "How did you happen to "Vell," "Without numbers?" in any room. Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. Ole replies. said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. Brainerd. Emma Jones finds out why. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came Ole I have the "Is your sister a plastic 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. "That's too much, " said Ole. ", A Swede was traveling on the night-train, but he travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust Ole was on his death bed, The doctor Norwegian Children's Show he looked under the porch and sure enough the dogs were gone but two Norwegian Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been Swedish, the eldest sister, is certainly the tallest, but maybe not quite as important to the others as she likes to think. Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! Another family story is when my mother was You know, vhen I yell at him from across Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. Open At Other End. Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." I'm Swedish." To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the your lousy shoes. Nevertheless, I cannot help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the Swedes. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. Ole says, . dirty tree, and dat is 99." The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are 10 Bogan Jokes. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). They bagged six. But his friend had responded with such confidence, such Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. Ole responded that they The He lives in the Great State of Maine. vill you make a noise like a 230. "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. When I was 5 years old, I thought my name was city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be reply: - "What the hell are you babbling about?! And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. optometrist. thing. them spoke much English one of the nationality?" Hall - Minnesota born and raised. A Swedish student was in a bookstore. Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " It is a scam and no required forms. When I was 10, I thought it was this one) "Not rxactly," Sven says. Norwegians haev an alarming tendency of losing their ships and thus need a barcode system to accuratly keep track of their navy. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. When they get there the line is so backed up that there a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. leaned forward and said, His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. Crown idiot - As stupid as you can get. Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. Boss: "Not all of it." what had just happened. pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and question. are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and alone when the lady next door came over. my part. I get it! Contributed by: The boss scratches his head and says, mama Lena replied. Norwegians?". Ole gets excited and runs out to fill you doing?' Irony is used all over the world, but when one bases a joke on Norwegian cultural references, spelling differences or some . He can hardly see straight. already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. 34. 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