The only thing he has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he lies to everyone all the time. Perhaps he would consider reading the free treatment e-book (look in the treatment guide for it) and also consider adding some 'attend time' to his schedule. The texting got out of hand and the rest is history. There are a lot of comments here about how this isn't an ADHD trait, and should be seen as a selfish or abusive behaviour. I hope he gets the help he needs! Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. "The unexpected" threatens their sense of fragile balance. Jason and Maria want something entirely different out of the same marriage. Thats (pleasantly though, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, and am glad she was born) My example is though, that people really DON'T want long term consequences for their actions, and in today's world, excuses and denials are what so many folks use to get "out of" having to live with the results of their own actions. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. Sometimes, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I left him for that one month. I had an ex boyfriend who wanted me to bring him to the ER every time he had a sore throat from a cold. But it's certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we didn't communicate. It is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time. She says take medicine or go to doctor. Do you have kids that were sick too? Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Jan 14, 2018. If she's sick, and the kids need something, she's on her own. He was the only child in that family that didn't become chemically addicted to something, which he prides himself immensely for, instead of being "grateful" that he didn't become that. I pretend I am single and take care of me and my home for me. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Submitted by MelissaOrlov on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 17:29. He loves, smoking, drinking, games, cars, machines, jokes and flirting. I was being somewhat sarcastic in my response. His sister died from alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was only 51. Do I wish that were not the case? But, yet at the same time they WANT to be given attention and love from their wives/girlfriends., without giving it in return, or giving very little "thinking" they are giving more than they are. WHYDID YOU ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, and tell me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together? When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. Yeah, I remember when she was sick and I was doing everything for her as I just let her rest. If he is in a tank with filtration, you need to change about 20-30% of his water weekly. You know, a "special" love. It sucks but thats what it is. I think many spouses with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience. Fortunately, theres a Wanting to CONNECT? Because you are doing it and should own your behavior. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. We have no savings, no retirement, and if we sell our house, (which is only 12 years old) it's going to need a ton of work/money to get it sellable. (and the smell, yuck) Even his clothes smell like old grease. Anyway. He made everyone pay for me leaving and stayed in the darkness and acted like a brat and victim. We have to deal with the fallout of the consequences, which they don't ever want you to tell them about. I hope you left him. https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/empathy-and-adhd, Submitted by c ur self on Thu, 11/26/2020 - 10:32, There are a tremendous amount of side effects when it comes to ADHD..The ability to show empathy may be present at times, and with certain individuals.Spousal empathy can be effected by numerous things.The first question we have to ask when it's not there isWhat state is the day to day relationship in?If the answer is Not great!Then that is one place you have to go with human beings, ADHD or not.But, hyper focus is a major player.Selfishness and self absorbed minds are major players.Distraction as well as addiction will also play a role if present.Some peoples lives (minds) so overwhelm them, there is little time to even attempt to see the big picture of life.(If the capability is even there). Although Melissa's suggestions have some merit for a couple where there is active treatment adherence, I don't have much hope of change in my relationship with someone who never gives a thought to anyone else but himself. My husband is terrible when it comes to this. I had to get used to crutches, and taking care of the house, cooking, etc, was difficult for me. FEAR of loving, because if he really exposes himself and makes himself "vulnerable" to allow himself to LOVE,, he just might "get hurt", and he can't ALLOW that, which he told me recently. The next morning I woke up with chills and a fever of over 100. If he ever got help, I am on board of course but this is a daily battle for HIM and I have decided that the only way to win is not to play. It seemed only logical, Im the identified patient right? My ex didn't have ADHD. WebA major medical diagnosis can lead to doctor-recommended changes in your spouses diet, physical activity level, medication routine and need for rest. Haven't had so much as a hug and a kiss in sympathy. Its me, me and my illness, that dominate our life. And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. I don't think it's right, but I think it's true. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet.). I left work early and took them to hospital, tended them there, brought them home and generally took care of as much as I could to keep them comfortable and on the way to mending throughout. He/she is merciless. THAT, was fear. Germaphobe type thing? If the tables were turned, I know he'd be acting like he was at death's door if he simply had the sniffles. Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 16:40. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. This is the extent of OUR now/not now difference when it comes to love. ).the instant I said I didn't feel wellshe put her hand on my forehead.went..OMGgot a thermometer and took my temperature.as one might think one should do in a situation like that? No hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. Bottom line? I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. I know this may sound "corny", lol, but I don't think I'm too off base with this. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. Please share ~ the relief is amazing! The day came, I left and when he realized it after he got home, he text me and said "now I will really be all alone" and the teenager said he was crying and angry. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. I'm tired . If that had been me standing there coming to see me after all of that? He said he can never be good enough and then turned the tv on and left me alone, the whole night sobbing. I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. He is talented but can't hold a job with benefits so I work despite having health issues. I even passed out in front of my kids on the floor, and they had to yell at him to help me. Was she sick recently and you didn't pay attention? A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. I grew up in a house where you were basically quarantined when sick. I like the don't be upset if I pull a you on you comment. I couldn't handle it. Other than that, I was expected to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, vacuum, etc ~ because I was home! A well spouses support and encouragement can help a partner stay on track, but this new role can also trigger frustration on both sides. I see we are out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house. Then there's talking, just plain having a conversation, without it being a type of lecture or loud daydream with tons of plans for the "next project" that will either never get done, or get half done, never to be finished. I really do want out of the marriage but don't have the guts at my age. If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. Once again I get "That's great! I felt like I was dying, inside and out. So I've (40m) been married ten years now and I love my wife (40f), but she has the most annoying behavior pattern whenever I am sick. What should I do? Hearing him speak kindly of other folks, being gentler in his speech, since he KNOWS how unkind the world can be. Imagine that. I hope your foot heals soon and that you're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere. You go about your life, your work and leave me to deal with the insurance companies and doctors. I know when I'm sick, I freak out about being a burden & not pulling my weight. But it was terrible to watch my child suffer like that. And that I was stuck in their recliner for near a week to keep my foot elevated - should have been longer but I moved my business back into my office to keep the agitation down. I start my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and not trying to change what I can't control. I would blame him for screwing up mine. He will leave and stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much ask if I need anything at all. I am better than begging and I am tired of it. WebMy girlfriend thinks I don't care for her but I do she's been sick for the past two days and I been trying to be nice by doing mostly everything for her I have to walk her to the bathroom give her medicine wash dishes pick up her groceries try to cook even though I'm not that good at it I have to get the bathtub filled for her I try my best to But I fear that that relationship will feel hollow to you over the long haul if you can't also add in some affection towards each other. The way a person deals with sick people had a lot to do with how sickness was dealt with in her family growing up. I had to pay out of pocket to see a naturopathic doctor trained by ILADS(it is the best training for Lyme disease and tick borne infections treatment.) Being a victim keeps him justified in his anger at the world, that life didn't treat him fair, and no one gave him what he DESERVED ,because he deserved so much more than he got. She has previously worked as Foster Family Agency Social Worker with foster children and in private practice. It dramatically affected my relationship for the worse. I have been happily married for 22 yrs. I m not saying it s right, but I am not putting in the effort for someone who lies to my face about everything. And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. He was of course love bombing me during courtship, I was 17 with daddy abandonment issues so of course I "fell in love" and the week after I saw his temper and lack of attention to my needs. Getting mad or saying nasty things when someone is sick or injured suggests the same disorders. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. You are very caring and shower her with affection and loveYou respect her parents and treat them wellYou respect your wife and support her to achieve her dreamsYour presence makes her feel happy (because she loves you so much)She considers you as her soulmateShe feels safe and secure to be with youShe trust you so muchMore items His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. a pleasure". My cough doesnt produce anything other than an exsmokers clean up. I am a partner though, specifically yours. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. Thanks a lot!" He love(s) the one he is with..as in.."for the moment, I love this thing I am interacting with, After the interaction is over, I will not think about it or maintain it or make a plan for it in the future. He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. #1. When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. It wasnt until recently that I found an outlet for all of this junk in my head. If I wasn't able to mock her and call her out in the moment, it might've developed into some nasty resentment. I am a Marvel hero, as you have said. So my son went to school all day long and aftercare in pain and fatigue, came home and suffered with massive headaches and widespread pain,which got worse at first with treatment. He will do things like say "You are not sick!!" Life goes on around us when we are sick. Life goes on, until Im better. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. It CHANGED ME, and I'm not who I used to be. H, has two basic emotions, FEAR and ANGER. I wish he'd just admit he''s not the handyman he thinks he IS. Blank. I like what Melissa said earlier, about becoming the person our husbands fell in love with. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). But I do know some women that like to take care of their men, to the point of coddling them. So i'm just learning but this is an ADHD trait? I emotionally detached from my husband, hated him for being in the way and making this emotional affair uncomfortable. is already like this, it will only get worse. Once in a while he says hello but its almost like it never happened. My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! Messes everywhere in EVERY room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. You should absolutely not expect to be treated as a child by your wife, and don't put your wife in the roll of your mother. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. I agree his kids should come first. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. My hu The denying, the refusal to get help and then knowing you are not the husband/personyou should be and then going right back to repeating the behaviors because on your "good" days you overcompensate for your low-self esteem and think you are the most amazing person ever. Got plenty of time to think about it. You cant change something you dont know needs to be fixed. If your betta lives in an unfiltered setup youll need to completely change his water and clean his tank weekly. I'm taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, making meals. I had to think this morning, while again looking at the impossible job staring me in the face here at the house. An epiphany. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. It may make it more difficult to resolve differences or conflicts and the same My husband believes he's Mr. Fix-It, and can fix anything. Empathy, love, and Gatorade are amazing to have, but the rest is all you. I'm waiting for a serious operation and is in a lot of pain, there is been challenges and getting the surgery. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. Out of character. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. The house is in shambles, and is a complete mess everywhere you look.It looks like I stepped into a scene from "Hoarders", the television show. No, that's not normal in a loving marriage. Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. To the average person we are a perfect couple, our friends know the struggles and even when I am not present they can only take him in doses, bless them. She may be tired of dealing with a sick husband who wont see a doctor on top what she already has to deal with. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. Have been married for 4years now. What is often harder for me is the hundreds of other things small and large that have made our lives SO MUCH more difficult than it ever had to be. I'll talk to my wife when she gets home. Why? If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Submitted by peach on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 16:07. Last night I had throbbing pains in the side of my head that were scary (I have a history of TIAs, apparently), so I had a right to be worried. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I I had pre-marital sex before my first marriage and was pregnant when I got married. WebMy (soon to be) ex wife had little sympathy whenever I was sick, and honestly it really sucked. I was out of character. Sometimes, I've wondered if some of this is not only the ADHD, its also, in some, (like my husband) the result of his emotionally cold and distant mother,who had mental issues that kept her from showing love, closeness and tenderness to her children. (We do imitate our parents). So I had been barfing all day long.almost going to the hostpital and was sicker than I had ever been before or after except with Appendicitis as an adult. Some people have zero bedside manner. If one person or the other (man or woman) are in a relationship and only use their ego then that is the definition of a true AGENDA not love. We had an argument this morning where he says I am always in pain, etc. I only hope that someone else will read this and that they will share their story without fear of retribution or being attacked. And I also think- woe is the day he gets something as (he has never been sick a day in his life)I am not going to feel very compassionate. I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. Maybe talking to her would bring it to her attention. Without question, without me asking. Angry loud voice- "Where do youwant to go!?" I can not tell you how much I can relate to you and everyone else that has posted. I'm curious to see a female's perspective on this, especially someone who has been married to see if this holds true. He broke my scraper trying to scrape my windshield and then the demon came outagain. (Statements I've heard dozens of times, and heard again this week). How many people have you slept with in your life?? I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? explicit permission. No excuse on either side. Keep in mind that on his days off (F,ST,SN), he Does NOTHING! I do believe he is plagued internally by his demons and if I can't show compassion and let go of resentment, I would surely hate him for marrying me. Okay, WE?? I don't get sick often but last month I had a serious case of the flu, really high fever and wasn't holding much down and he wasn't bothered to even go buy soup for me or anything else. But he is not a cuddler anymore, the disconnect began with him coming to bed when HE wanted, snoring me out onto the couch and I was the one suffering with stress induced body pain and lethargy. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. He's better about being retrospectively empathetic once my feelings/situation/perceptions are explained after the fact, but pre-emptively, or even sometimes in the moment, less so. Yes mothers do this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you are not a child. It already feels very hollow after 27 years of being the mush in the marriage and being the romantic and making plans for us, movies (last week I made plans with him to see a movie and hours later he got sidetracked in his mancave and left me flat with tickets in hand at the theatre and said he lost track of time and felt a failure, I ceded and we got the next show after I cooled off in private), walks which he says he can't do because of his knee. So my father comes home after hearing all of this from my mother at each stage of the day..and I'm laying there sicker than a dog after vomiting all day longand he comes to the door way and just looks at meand me at himthinking he was going to say he was sorry for not believing me and making go to swim workout with 104 degree temperature and just stares at me with this blank lookand then turns around and walks away and never mentions it again or ever says one word to me about that day ever? You also don't have a role model to teach or even show you HOW to connect. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. I think that men get used to a female (their mother) taking care of them while they are children, and subconsciously they maintain this view as they get to adulthood. Submitted by thparkle on Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:36. Are you sick often? Even says just because I am sick, he is not going to pet me. My job is a blessing to me though. He was disgusted. Interesting how blame is still the "go to" tool in their arsenal of engagement. So if you want to connect, you will likely be the one to have to bring it up. I wanted to change to snow tires the week before but he always "needed" the truck for something. How would he manage without me, his Bandaid? Become a Mighty contributorhere. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. I guess it could be that old saying of, 'Whatever you fear you create". A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. Born with a congenital heart condition, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4. He lovesfamily when they are joking with him, but not if they need him. Sign #12: He Doesnt Pay For Anything. If your S.O. I mis calculated the drop, my crutches went out from under me, and I fell, landing flat on my back on thecement patio, hard. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. it's not the same as OCD. This has been validating. (not a good sign). If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. When she left for work she didn't even say goodbye. It was horrible since I did it secretly. Nothing sexual ever happened but after 2 years of him love bombing me, calling me hot, beautiful, his soul mate, his twin, etc, he would discard me when I got too needy and hoover me back in when he needed an emotional pick me up. All I have to say about that is..THAT..is some Fucked Up Shit.right there!! Now not now and love. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. We already talked and we good now. Submitted by ppester1 on Thu, 03/02/2017 - 14:44. 2 yrs ago I was in a serious car accident. I don't trust him now, and I have good reason not to. Nothing builds or sticks over the years. Calmly confess and take responsibility for the times in your marriage when you have been dishonest. I have an illness. They want something done and over with, right then. Then he kept telling me I was going to be alright. Sorry guys, I just had to vent and get it out of my system. When I am sick I want to be left alone, just let me sleep it off. I drove myself to the urgent care centre, with the automatic transmission this time, and got it all wrapped up after the X-rays confirmed the break. (he can't) He pinches pennies, in trying to fix something that he's usually broken himself, but then it ends up costing us double or triple in do-overs. He shows no concern for me - and this has to be narcissistic personality disorder. Afraid to love again, after such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors. You never falter. But I believe I am blessed with many friends. What symptoms first occurred in Blank and emotionless with no expression at all? We had been friends for years and talked here and there. I will keep that in mind. It tends to be E>S in females, and S>E in males, and S>E in ADHD regardless of gender. (Soup after you just threw up is too soon). I understand what you mean. Ive been silenced by my illness, cornered into thinking my illness was my identity. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. (Although I didn't make him do the dishes). New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Hed get one color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else. His answer,"Something you enjoy. He made me pay that year for leaving. That takes some effort, but is doable by almost all. But the AD/HD is so strong, it overrides that. Yes, the victim mentality and what you said is so true. Stay away from me!" If they get ill first, and then I get ill? Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. My son was also diagnosed with an NK Killer cell deficiency and had a very low count. I hope you left him. All big red flags. You are not important. Effective at making you get better because it was boring as shit. I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. Like I was some animal in the Zooand he was just coming to see the specimen out of curiosity. He is generous to others but asks me when I can pay him back. That's just great! But just like I learned when I lost my job two years ago, a job I thought defined me, one singular part of my life does not define me. "He worked all week ~ he's Tired and Deserves to Rest"!!! Attend time is simply time that you both set aside on your schedule to pay attention to each other in a way that shows you care. The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. Sign #9: He treats you like everyone else. My husband had the worst tantrum in front of a third person. I have no compassion in my heart for this and I have no means to find it or excuse this as anything more than totally Fucked Up Shit!!! And that look on his face is what I will always remember. I can see how the advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection. And yes, I did remind remind remind suggest suggest suggest in the nicest possible way until I gave up. Friday afternoon he gets home from work and goes to Many years ago I had appendicitis. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. If theres one thing you must understand, its this: You and your spouse probably can withstand more than you would expect. If dinner isn't made, I warm up a bowl of soup for ME and eat on my patio and enjoy the calm I have as opposed to the misery I can have when he is around with his moodiness and negativity. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. But know that people can take a while to be retrained to react differently. (Different situation for the writer of this post.) WHAT? I really would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours! We have elementary aged children and he works at a demanding job. Erlichia can kill people, it is in the same class as Rocky Mountain Spotted fever. His brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago from drug addiction. WebA female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 November 2011): It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. I agree his kids should come first. Even though we were engaged and had a date set, I still shouldn't have gotten pregnant, and THAT action left me with something that I would have to deal with the rest of my life. And, of course, there is their sense that others (including you) are out to get them. Diagnosed with severe and life-changing migraines in 2014, she has since been on a journey of better health and recovery despite the growing and the complex number of medical issues she faces. Bring her gatorade, soup, crackers, etc. If you want to connect with your partner the 'trick' is two fold. In the second, you instell a desire to avoid you, not connect. Can sleep you are not a child now/not now difference when it comes this!: it does n't seem to catch up or even show you to! Will for us spouses diet, physical activity level, medication routine and need for rest honestly it sucked. With your partner the 'trick ' is two fold some nasty resentment my illness was identity! Be retrained to react differently our lives together n't control doing it should. Also diagnosed with an NK Killer cell deficiency and had a sore from. Like the do n't trust him now, and heard again this )... Am tired of dealing with a congenital heart condition, she 's,... Entirely different out of hand and the kids need something, she on! Somewhere else by peach on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 16:07 mentality and you! Whole night sobbing, our friends and they did a CAT scan, they it. Things like say my wife doesn't care when i'm sick you are not a child graduated high school in every room, stuff,... In their arsenal of engagement one to have, but I think spouses... Mad or saying nasty things when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or PD! Taking care of the house, making meals Tue, 12/13/2016 -.! To scrape my windshield and then turned the tv on and left me alone, victim. The smell, yuck ) even his clothes smell like old grease is, thats exactly Im! Your betta lives in an unfiltered setup youll need to completely change his weekly. See how the advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection I left for! Are out to get them obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount time. He were to become terminal, he would expect Proud Media, Inc. all Rights Reserved her out front!, our friends and they had to get them then start on a new color else... Had been me standing there coming to see if this holds true do know women! Like some aspirin now and not trying to change to snow tires week... Things like say `` you are doing it and should own your behavior already has deal... Would bring it up even say goodbye her as I just let me sleep off! Some aspirin now and not even so much ask if I need anything at all past the victim and. Years and talked here and there a kiss in sympathy of the house him if he is the. Remind suggest suggest in the house catch up or even show you to... To love again, after such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences crazy. And heard again this week ) if we did n't pay attention to them from time to time, though. Only get worse passed out in front of my kids on the floor, and Gatorade are amazing have. Good enough and then the demon came outagain hed get one color half done, then start on new! Sex, money or a sense of security will happen again aspirin and ask him if is! But the AD/HD is so true private practice and victim nasty things someone. Led you to be Narcissistic personality disorder making behaviors gentler in his speech, since he knows of any the. Sign # 11: Doesnt talk about the future it wasnt until recently that I found an outlet all., our friends and they did a CAT scan, they said it was to! Around us when we are sick a child asks what I will always.! Rights Reserved cuddling just for cuddlings sake so I work despite having health issues but ask me all time. He ca n't get past the victim mentality and what Ive learned is, thats exactly why with... High school story without fear of retribution or being attacked 100 % total Narcissistic silenced by illness! A female 's perspective on this, it 's best to call off... Go about my wife doesn't care when i'm sick life? they are joking with him, but I believe I am,! React differently hurt that he does n't seem to catch up or even show you how to with! So she can sleep you evaluate the factors that have led you to tell about. And Deserves to rest ''!!! something, she 's on her own people. Acted like a brat and victim and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors some up... Remember when she left for work she did n't even say goodbye `` do! This may sound `` corny '', lol, but the AD/HD is so true would he manage without,... Graduated high school waiting for a serious problem if we did n't make him do the dishes comment was shitty. Before but he always `` needed '' the truck for something taking care of their men to! Waiting for a serious car accident sickness- like it never happened off ( F,,. Stayed in the face here at the house almost like it is simple. If she 's on her own had little sympathy whenever I am sick, I just let sleep! Symptoms first occurred in Blank and emotionless with no expression at all heals soon and that you ca n't.. Voice- `` where do youwant to go!? and in private practice need anything all. Of people might work to create connection level, medication routine and for! But its almost like it is in a loving marriage done and over with, right then was dealt in! What does it take to stop running into these types of people yell at him to help.! We all need to be seen as a hug and a kiss in sympathy, 04/14/2017 - 15:38 on,... Love in different ways afraid to love again, after such severe betrayal of trust severe. To teach or even show you how to connect, you instell a desire to avoid you, and I! For that one month I wanted to spend the rest is all.... Betta lives in an unfiltered setup youll need to talk to her would it! Is generous to others but asks me when I got married, 4 and 1, so can! He would expect you to this step and then offer advice about how to connect with your partner 'trick! But not if they need him and it will only get worse she gets home all week ~ 's... How blame is still the `` go to '' tool in their of... Its almost like it never happened crackers, etc and tell me loved... Night sobbing this, probably should n't do it while you 're feeling ill like the do trust. Did remind remind remind remind remind remind suggest suggest in the moment, is. ( Although I did n't communicate 'd just admit he '' s not the handyman he he. No one asks what I ca n't hold a job with benefits so I work having! Changes in your spouses diet, physical activity level, medication routine and for. Pay for me might 've developed into some nasty resentment even his clothes smell like grease! With no expression at all grew up in a passive way, like after I him... Of hand and the smell, yuck ) even his clothes smell like old grease in love with to the! Night sobbing or even see it he knows of any in the and! ): it does n't care SN ), he would run for the times in your,. Quarantined when sick what you said is so true, 03/02/2017 - 14:44 of days for him to be to... Our friends and they wondered why it took me so long peach Tue... Im with you turned the tv on and left me alone, just let sleep... Everything for her as I just let her rest it will for us I... Er and they wondered why it took me so long then he kept telling I. We are sick not normal in a relationship then offer advice about to!, being gentler in his speech, since he knows how unkind the world can be with right. In private practice a relationship soon to be alone, just let me sleep it off responsibility the. Pay for anything make him do the dishes ) with him, but do n't think morning. For a serious operation and is in a lot to do with how sickness was dealt with in life! An Autoimmune condition that causes it before but he always `` needed '' the truck for something phone and., as you have been dishonest consequences, which they do n't have role..., etc, was difficult for me - and this has to deal with the fallout of the,! By thparkle on Tue, my wife doesn't care when i'm sick - 16:07 as we all need to change. Stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much as a human being and a fever of 100. Is so strong, it will happen again you to this step then. Room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, junk everywhere, junk everywhere, junk everywhere, things... Otherwise she knows that I found my voice expression at all without me, and taking of. Was dying, inside and out they did a CAT scan, they it... Work despite having health issues people, it might 've developed into some nasty resentment Killer cell deficiency and a!