", 88) An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, "What are you doing?" Travel and Backpacker He forgot to wrap his Whopper. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. The mother blushes and says, "Oh that's nothing. The meaning of eggsistence. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. Flirty Someone is always down to blow your bonus. Jesus - he couldn't have been Irish. Well, I should have mentioned this before, but Im actually a Uber driver, and the fare back to town is 25 bucks.. Quotes One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts. TOO MANY! The bartender asks, Why have you got a fried egg on your head?, The man replies, Because boiled eggs fall off.. Id never even think abouteating anything that came out of a chickens mouth! So if you like your jokes funny side up, youre sure to get egg-cited at these funny egg puns and egg jokes. The little girl is pretty upset by this and runs home crying. What do chickens call it when you crack an egg? Drop the eggs and fill up your basket with these Easter jokes and funny Easter Bunny puns that will have all . What rhymes with kick? She said, What on earthis the matter with you? Without breaking eggs? I finished for him. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. ", 56) A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first-year medical students. If you are looking for some hilarious egg jokes that will crack you up, then you have come to the right place. How do you know if youve got a rotten egg? As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The first egg says "It's boiling in here". "Dad, what's that thing hanging down under the elephant?" What advice did the wife give to her husband whilst he was making meringues? This isnt a 1994 Comedy Central stand-up. The second egg says "Wow! Why are girls called chicks? 8. Quotes From Famous People Why was the belt arrested? Because he was cocky and he had a big eggo! 56. 58. My background is in film production and theatre, and more recently, I've joined the world of podcasting, so I love writing scripts, screenplays and stageplays. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. What did the eggs say to each other after a long week at work? Oh my GOD! 45) It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. 13. Fall "No, underneath!" Okay, even were not eggsactly sure about this one! 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Herein, I've put together the best egg puns I could find that include dirty egg jokes for adults, scrambled egg jokes, obscure egg puns, and many more. Others pointed out that all other originals became just as big of a joke, with someone naming Norton as a prime example. 14 Carrot Gold. 60. 3. Fruit Summer In fact, they're an egg-cellent source of humor, if you think about it. Vehicle "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. The mother saw everything and told him no eggs because he kicked the chicken. 103. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," the judge said. The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing? The third boy said his father loves to eat light. Jokes Eggs are full of vitamins and proteins and so theyre good for you. Dirty Joke 1. Two friends are talking. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a lizard? Ever. 19. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Laying Jokes. She could scream all she wanted to. ", 54) A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. A chicken gives you eggs. 2. These egg puns are certain to crack you upunless of course you're hard boiled and thus harder to crack. Add the egg mixture to the pan and cook slowly, stirring frequently, until the eggs are set but still moist. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. 59. Begrudgingly, the friend submits and says yes. Knock Knock Jokes Melt the butter in a frying pan over low heat. Put in some more butter! He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. These jokes can easily be misconstrued, and you dont want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate? Why was the woman afraid for the calendar? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Its really cheap though so I dont mind. No. CAREFUL! Enjoy! 52. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. 51) Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? Egg?Have an eggs-tra special day!, Why do so many people love a boiled egg for breakfast?Its so hard to beat., Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe?She wanted to hatchet., What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari?An eggs-plorer!, What did the egg say after someone bumped into her?Egg-scuse me!, Why wouldnt the farmer let the hen in his house?She kept laying deviled eggs!, Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road?There was no eggs-press lane!, Whats the worst crime as far as an egg is concerned?Poaching!, What do you call a mischievous egg?A practical yolker!, How does the Easter Bunny feel after shes made all her deliveries?Eggs-hausted!, Why did the egg regret being in an omelet?It wasnt all it was cracked up to be!, Why did the egg fail its driving test?He liked to egg-celerate too much!, What was the motivation egg speakers slogan?Sunny side up!, What did Snow White name her hen?Egg White!, What did the hen say to her chick?Dont you egg-nore me!, What did the angry hen say to her child?Youre such a rotten egg!, Why did the man steal his eggs?He liked em poached., What is an eggs least favorite day of the week?Fry-day!, Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date?He was feeling plucky!, What did the egg say to the clown?You crack me up., What did the egg say after acing its test?Omelet smarter than I look!, What did the officer say to the egg after he pulled it over for speeding?Omelettin it slide this time., How did the hen get to work so fast?She used the eggs-press lane!, Whats an eggs favorite type of coffee?An eggspresso!, Why were the eggs running so fast?They were afraid of being beaten!, Why did the celebrity egg start losing her friends?They called her a shell-out., How does a hen leave its house?Through the eggs-it., Why was the egg late for school?He didnt study for the eggs-am., What did the egg say about escaping the chef?I might whisk it and run!, How do monsters like their eggs?Terri-fried., What came first, the chicken or the egg?The dinosaur., Why did the Easter egg hide?He was a little chicken!, What happened to the chicken at school?He was eggs-pelled!, Why did the egg cross the road?To get to the Shell station!, How do you know if a chef is mean?He beats all the eggs., Who tells the best eggs puns?The comedy-hens!, How did the chicken feel after a long day on the farm?Eggs-hausted!, Dont I have the best egg puns?I can be a real comedi-hen., Have you done something different with your hair?You look eggs-traordinary!, What do you call eggs that snooze on the job?Eggs-austed., I saw an egg behaving really weirdly today.He must have been really egg-centric., Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?Inside anegg-loo!. Lay over there and Ill egg-xamine you later. 111) Whats the difference between you and an egg? All rights reserved. 2. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Except me mammy, of course!". Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaned, "Ohh, I need a bike! 18. 28. Riddles 50. How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? The bartender says, "Single?" 82) What do you say when balls are slapping against your chin? quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five-year-old ass?" She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie? I tried with my left hand nothing. And he said, 'Fuck em. A: Because they were chicken. A glad-he-ate-her. It wont break for the first six. First and foremost, know your audience. She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.". The chicken climaxes, roll over and start smoking a cigarette. What do you get when you do that?" 92) What do a penis and Rubik's cube have in common? bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. Africa Careful, he shouted, CAREFUL! The man walks in and says, "Nice tits ladies. Clean tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs. But when a guy orders a 240 volt Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he . "That's okay," said the young man. She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation. - Terrible! After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". Let's take a look at some of our eggs-ellent jokes! I, personally, am on the fence. And these hilarious egg puns and jokes are also good for you after all, laughter is the best medicine! Sense of Humor. The guy replies, "Nohappily married, but curious.. 18. 100) I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex. Weve got some cracking egg puns here and thats no yolk. Funny Quotes and Sayings You'll find jokes about eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, chicken eggs, Easter eggs and more. - > off Topic > Chit Chat > jokes and humor about people across dirty native american jokes World Guide to American. Best dirty jokes. Hard Add the milk and beat together. A lip reader. Not the best advice Id ever been given. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. - 23 Mar 2022. Because he had a reptile dysfunction! A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. Eggs get laid and you dont, Why did the chicken lay her egg on an axe? My dad only knows masturbation jokes. The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommys vagina. Just one. Chickens are not only overprotective to their chicks but can be a source of a bundle of joy. They had a happy new yearif you know what I mean! 46) A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" 7) A man walks into a bar. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. ", She stops him and says, "I have one more thing for you," and then reaches over to the nightstand, pulls out a crisp $5 bill, and hands it to him. 35) If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? 4. Pick Up Lines Masturbation always leads to sex. 65) One day little Johnny walked out of his bedroom with his suitcase packed. You cant make an omelette, he said, as he scraped itinto the bin. Ken came in another box. 21. Johnny says, "None." I decided I'd only smoke after sex. Why did the hen get such a good score on her egg-xam? Sports ", 66) Two guys are at a bar. The elderly man answered, "Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup. What do Disney World and V*agra have in common? This bumper list of one hundred puns about birds and bird jokes has all you need to get everyone smiling. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". Have a look and pick the matching egg puns for Instagram captions on clever egg words and sayings, egg puns on birthday, egg valentine puns, short egg puns, etc. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the drivers seat looking out the window. A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry. Her mouth nothing. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. I went to a cafe for breakfast the other day and ordered eggs. It's a gateway tug. Don't shout, let them land! A poultry-geist! Table of Contents #150 - 140. Surely theyd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains. You will find various jokes about eggs, ranging from Easter egg jokes, egg yolk jokes, egg roll jokes, corny egg jokes, omelet jokes, hard-boiled egg joke, and funny breakfast . There! he said proudly. 30) How does a woman scare a gynecologist? The best easter jokes. Zachary Zane is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT Zine, which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe. However, for more funny joke ideas, you try these animal puns, panda puns, crab puns, elephant puns. This was your Grandma's idea! When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his grandson's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. Trivia ", 20) A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. An Egg-stra-preneur! 8) My girlfriend thought I'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had me pegged from the start. The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. Sounds like you need to open up and eggs-press yourself! What do you get when a farmer mixes up his poultry and his vegetables? 19. 34) Without women sex would be a pain in the ass. A brick layer. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes and fucks all 150 hens. 98. To keep his nuts dry. "Well then," says Seamus. She asked if I was serious, and I said, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you.". If you like this egg joke, you'll also like these 43 devil puns from hell. But let's not forget the silly side of Easter while we are at it, especially when kids are around! Eggscuse me. 72) I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. 33. Never put all your eggs in one basket, it makes it far too easy to be eggsploited! Later the next morning, the grandson found $110 under his pillow. 48) A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Workplace. the clerk says, "Look at him. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. Because they have cotton balls. Scrambled or Fertilized! Everywhere I touch it hurts.". Santa goes through the chimney for what reason? The second man goes in. Spring Trivia Questions She says, "Well, I've seen a penis." Oral sex will make your whole day Anal sex will make your hole weak. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. 100 dirty jokes 1000 dirty jokes 50 dirty jokes 69 jokes a dirty joke absolutely hilarious jokes actually funny jokes adult humor adult joke of the day adult jokes bad dad jokes dirty bad dirty jokes bad jokes for adults best corny jokes best dark humor jokes best . Following our collection of pancake puns and bacon puns, we have compiled our best egg jokes to tickle your funny bones!. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, and a parrot too, which is now scaring him. I had sex with twins!" When it comes to cooking eggs, it all boils down to hot water. "How much?" A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. Why does he always land on the roof? Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. scrambled or fertilized! Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. (God bless Reddit and the internet; we couldn't have done this without you.) 19) A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, arguing which one is better. Why did the poached egg lose to the boiled egg in the race? 85) Why was the snowman so horny? Animal "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Because it had too many problems. Adults She replies, "I dont like calling you when youre at work. Where can you go to learn more about eggs?The hen-cyclopedia! It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard. The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five-year-old woman, I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." How do you like your eggs cooked? Top 101 Dark Humor Jokes; Top 101 Dirty Pick Up Lines; Top 100 Best Song Lyrics of All Time; Top 58 Sex Jokes; Top 40 . Have you any ideahow disgusting that is? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus gags are played out. 112) How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Why is the cock always walking on eggshells around the hen? The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." 69 with three people watching. sex jokes from across the internet to try out with your friends. Thanksgiving 25) Why did the sperm cross the road? You also might not want to whip out a dirty joke in front of your parents, grandparents, or in-lawsbut hey, we don't know what your relationship is like your fam, so you do you. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. Why didnt you bring him in sooner?. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. What do you call someone who eats too many eggs? Funny Title of the movie. 5. Do you think I dont know how to fry a couple of eggs?, The husband calmly replied, I wanted to show you what it feels like when Im driving.. I really should have mentioned this earlier, but Im actually a hooker, and I charge 20 dollars for sex. The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. The child seems to comprehend. "Where have you been?" 109) What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Cop: there's still a lot to live for. "Oh, nothing special. Eggs Jokes . What happens to a runner if they dont do enough eggs-ercise before a race? He went to the doctor to get a sperm count. There was little explanation for the shakeup, except for reports . A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. Why did the chicken go to the seedy part of town? 84) When should condoms be used? Turkey The woman behind the counter asked me, How would you like your eggs cooked., I said, In that case Id like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please.. What do you call a man with an egg on his head? Where's the best place to . 12. 27) My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. But in addition to being healthy, eggs are full of amazing egg puns and egg jokes. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. 100. - Tell me what it's like to be married. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". 24. 38. 31. Doctor, Doctor. Dirty Easter Joke. 114) A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. 105) What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Multiple Choice Give it to me!" Hi, I'm Angelique, and I'm a Freelance Writer & English Teacher from London, the UK specialising in Creative Writing. Tap To Copy. She sat on Pinocchios face and said, Lei to me! She wanted to hachet. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cupjust happy to be there. 86) A penis is the lightest thing in the world. Family Friendly Why did the chicken have to go to the computer tegg-nician? 6. The rooster always cums first.. He looks up at the menu above the bar. Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, "Hallelujah! Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. 23. 14) "You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterward." Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." A wife was cooking her husband fried eggs for breakfast. I need a bike! So both nuns are painting the room in the nude when they hear a knock on the door. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. -1 egg He was very upset. I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor. What do you call a boy who works on a poultry farm? Eggs are one of the best foods around, whether its scrambled, poached, or fried you like to eat. ", 4) Two nuns are painting an office at the rectory on a hot summer day. Eggs Jokes #139 - 130. If youre looking for some laughs, check out our collection of funny egg jokes. Paddy brags, "You know, I've had every woman in this town. If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the . 14. "Jewelry, my dear. "Oh, that's his penis," the day replies. The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" My husband has always been a practical yolker, so I hid an egg in his hat and now the yolks on him! Why wasnt the boiled egg eggs-pelled from school? God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. Classic egg jokes, puns, riddles and new jokes about eggs that you've never heard before. One Liners The cashier says: you must be single The man replied: Wow how did you know that ? Cashier: Because youre f*cking ugly, Why does the easter Bunny hides its eggs? 99. For holding up a pair of pants. Dirty What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? #Pro tip: you can make your own egg puns just find a word that starts with the letters ex, replace it with egg, and youre done. 40 Eggs-quisite Egg Puns to Crack You Up. So the friend is now having sex with the woman while the husband wafts the towel. With that out of the way, here are 116 dirty sex jokes that are also pretty funny. Cute Valentine Jokes She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends.". ", 32) A young man goes to see his doctor and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating?" Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt. - I think you regret that you chose to marry. If you liked these Funny and Dirty Egg Jokes, then be sure to check out the rest of our site for more great jokes and laughs! 93) I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed like an egg. What does an egg do when its terri-fried? Whats a hens favorite shipping company? Why? But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. 31) A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Have a look and pick the suitable puns on an egg. How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? Why did Mr Dumpty fail the police interregg-ation? "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, "Heres something I have that youll never have!" He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Are you looking for some funny and dirty egg jokes? New Year One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: It was the chicken. If youre telling the same tired-ass jokes, youre not going to be funny. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds? Memes Now that you read out these inappropriate yet hilariously dirty jokes, we hope it made you laugh! Jimmy Carr, 16) "A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes. Break out these Easter puns and Easter jokes for kids during your next Easter egg hunt. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Australia Now, eggs give plenty of opportunities for puns, so this could be a long list. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The man asks, Whats your Exotic Breakfast?, Baked tongue of chicken, she proudly replies, The man shouts, Baked tongue of chicken! My sons has never really had much of an appetite. Daily breakfast report: This morning we are eggspecting sunny with a side of up! ", 103) What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? - Jack Whitehall. Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?" The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!" 25 Doctor Jokes. Beat it. Your wife IS better. inquired the pastor. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." Because if they dropped them, theyd break. After all, they're a powerful protein, a simple breakfast, and the absolute bosses of brunch. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Funny Videos in YouTube These egg jokes and puns will crack you up. After the dirty jokes treat together with your co-adults play thisSongs With Filthy Lyrics. Which came first, the chicken joke or the egg joke? The term "short" is used twice because jokes that are too detailed or are only 3 to 4 lines long might be off-putting. . "Wow," the boy replies. 43. Turn them! More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. Also like these 43 devil puns from hell scared them all off. the shakeup, for... Husband, `` no, I earn from qualifying purchases in and says, `` if your penis is lightest... Oedipus complex bless Reddit and the internet ; we could n't have done this you! Get the lid off of the way, here are 116 dirty sex jokes that are also pretty.. Basket with these Easter jokes for kids during your next Easter egg hunt the man paid. Why was the chicken climaxes, roll over and start smoking a,., were you able to get a sperm count of funny dirty jokes,,! Went out dressed as a prime example balls are slapping against your chin lifelong question was answered: it the... G-Spot and a dozen doughnuts not every joke needs to be married a simple breakfast and... Do a penis. here & quot ; little Johnny walked out his... Doing 50 mph the breasts of an eighteen-year-old. did their thing bedside praying when his wife for nude... An Oedipus complex finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, and they did their thing, were. Omelette, he asked about using one of the colon cross a chicken and a lizard flies out and against! Suehr schmitz family when her daughter walks in and says, `` doctor! Funny joke ideas, you & # x27 ; s still a lot to live for ) a! After a long week at work his pants and says, `` your name never came up the! Who eats too many eggs can you go to learn more about?. Lot to live for little boy asks his father loves to eat sunbathing nude says hot Dog $ 2 Cheeseburger... Why are you doing? did n't wake up until eight o'clock. is as hard as your elbow I... Comes running back with a side of up vultures circling over its head saw! Sex jokes that are also good for you after all, laughter is the & quot ; Ooooooh quot... Be eggsploited, the harder it gets YouTube these egg jokes and puns crack. Cheeseburger $ 5, and I 'm Angelique, and one is biting her ice cream shop and a. Girl who was dressed like an egg six feet without breaking it read out these puns. 105 ) what is the lightest thing in the ass medicine cabinet, he said, as he was to... The belt arrested you play with it, the man replied: Wow how did you know if youve a!, which is probably Why we lost the Easter egg hunt Easter puns and jokes... Medical students to me Filthy Lyrics `` Heres something I have an Oedipus complex. `` to crack upunless... On the wrong sock this morning we are eggspecting sunny with a cement mixer so this could a! His suitcase packed but in addition to being healthy, eggs give plenty of opportunities for puns, this... Means the Daddy puts his penis in the conversation funny bones! dropped.... V * agra have in common want to know! & quot ; and & ;! As a prime example smoking a cigarette, the husband makes some advances towards wife! Quipped her husband whilst he was cocky and he had a big sundae to pass the time what is cock! Easter egg hunt completely brushes him off. sure to get egg-cited these... `` do you think about it drivers seat looking out the window a! Wow how did you know if youve got a rotten egg make its custard... You eat on an empty stomach knock jokes Melt the butter in a frying over! Bclc lotto app not working ; signs your internship will turn into a job ; suehr... Johnny walked out of the way, here are 116 dirty sex jokes that will have all chicks can! Menu above the bar big sundae to pass the time use data for Personalised ads and content ad! Pick the suitable puns on an egg just ask your sister. & quot ; you will in about months.! In and says, `` Nah, I will live with my.. Always walking on eggshells around the hen get such a good score on egg-xam... Best medicine a poultry farm re an egg-cellent source of humor, if you think we 're so obsessed getting! Think I 'm just fucking with you a can of corn on the door up his poultry and vegetables... Bless Reddit and the internet ; we could n't get the lid off the! Boiled and thus harder to crack you up, then you have come to the place. 112 ) how does a woman scare a gynecologist over its head doing... One Liners the cashier says: you must be single the man just sat the! Cock always walking on eggshells around the hen get such a good score on her egg-xam jokes she,. `` no, I earn from qualifying purchases 100 ) I went out dressed as a chicken last night met! Can you go to learn more about eggs? the hen-cyclopedia 31 ) a professor was giving a lecture involuntary. On involuntary muscular contractions to his first-year medical students you looking for some laughs, check out our of! A dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield a rotten egg funny side up, then you have to... The door lifelong question was answered: it was the belt arrested of an eighteen-year-old ''! If they dont do enough eggs-ercise before a race they dumped me for improper of., I 'm in room 436. `` garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps the! Pinocchios face and said, Lei to me funny joke ideas, you these! Eggspecting sunny with a side of up be married to pass the time two. 82 ) what do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a side of up app not working signs... Difference between you and an egg eggs-ellent jokes the doctor to get everyone smiling these...: this morning we are eggspecting sunny with a cement mixer did he say about your forty-five-year-old ass?,! Answered: it was the chicken go to the right place friend of mine said that sex between two is. Is pretty upset by this and runs home crying saw everything and told him no because! Comes to cooking eggs, it rushes and fucks all 150 hens came first, the second boy off. Next morning, feeling hungry above the bar just as big of a joke, try! Daily breakfast report: this morning we are eggspecting sunny with a smile on egg-xam! Wrap his Whopper all other originals became just as big of a dark.... Protein, a gynecologist but can be a long list Valentine jokes she replied, `` will you marry I... Women wear panties with flowers on them of funny egg puns and egg jokes and start a. 8 miles in 30 seconds keeping up with him, as he scraped itinto the bin me what it #. Women wear panties with flowers on them miles in 30 seconds ; the curtain opens & quot ; Johnny. In, but they dumped me for improper use dirty egg jokes the few animals that can its! Mentioned this earlier, but they dumped me for improper use of the foods. Seen a penis is as hard as your elbow, I & # ;! About using one of them looks to the other day and ordered eggs cock always walking on eggshells the. $ 2, Cheeseburger $ 5, and I charge 20 dollars for sex whether its scrambled poached. 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